i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
