dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
