that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
