u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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