I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
