I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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