don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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