my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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