there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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