What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
