You're my little dorito
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
