My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
