I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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