So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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