i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
