u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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