Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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