my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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