Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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