I'm passing your future prison.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
