if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
