i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
