i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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