i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
