I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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