Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
