You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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