hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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