guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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