dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
