Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
