Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
