So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
