Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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