D3 body, D1 cock
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I need water and some morals
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
