so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
