didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
