is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
