took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me they were just razor bumps!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
