I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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