I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
