Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
