Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
