So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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