i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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