You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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