we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
