dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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