A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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