were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There are leaves in my underwear?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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