What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize