did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is the high leading the old right now
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
