Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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