just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
