yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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