I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
