ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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