There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to make a zoo with you.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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