Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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