Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
