we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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